We live in a time of movement, of growth and action, of realisation and change, but it seems we’ve been leaving a large portion of society behind.
According to research conducted by popular magazine Psychology Today, the number of single men in America has increased significantly within the 21st century, with feminism moving rapidly forwards and redefining what it fundamentally means to be a woman, a person, and a human being as a whole. In 2019, 36% of men were single compared with 36% marking an increase of single people from 29% in 1990. Maybe this is new information and the rising number of ‘Incels’ is just an unlucky coincidence with absolutely nothing to do with many women re-evaluating whether they want to enter into relationships where they are sometimes treated as subordinates. Either way, male singleness is becoming an issue within our growing society and seems to be fueling misogyny.
Do not misconstrue my words, however. I am certainly not saying that women should be trying to fix this problem- quite the opposite, in fact. According to recent studies, unmarried, childless women are the happiest subgroup within the UK, and it makes complete sense! Women are receiving income that they are able to spend on themselves as they often have no children nor a partner. According to Paul Dolan, a behavioural scientist and author of Happy Ever After: A Radical Approach to Living Well and Happiness (a very good read, by the way), single, childless women are more likely to outlive their married counterparts. This certainly should not be a revelation to many of us.
According to Government research, around 7% of women aged 17-74 experience domestic abuse within England and Wales, many of whom are abused by males in their households or in their lives which causes devastating psychological and physical effects: some recoverable, many not. Reports show that marriage doesn’t have a large effect on the mental and emotional well being of a woman and can, in fact, be more destructive than anything. Marrying the ‘wrong man’ can leave indelible mental and physical scars.
The number of women speaking out about domestic abuse and trouble within marriages is growing. Campaign adverts by well-known faces such as Mel B are encouraging women to re-evaluate what is healthy behaviour within a relationship.
So, what about the men? Psychologist Greg Matos claims that ‘dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing’ as women expect more from a relationship and that there is a ‘relationship skill gap’.
Twitter, Instagram and YouTube have become plagued with the movement of ‘incels’ who are generally young men following the examples of people such as Andrew Tate and a YouTuber who goes by Sneako who, rather than trying to better than themselves, find that it is simply easier to preach that ‘this is a man’s world and whatever a man says, goes’. Men who think like these miss the obvious fact that what they are presenting is something that few women want. Humans deserve choice, and the ideals of men like Andrew Tate deprive women of that, so women do what women have always done: we throw ourselves into the tracks to prove a point (God bless Emily Davison). Men like Tate who deprive women of choice sit upon their high horses waiting for women to flock to them without realising that they have trampled on those who previously came. More women than ever are choosing to avoid men with such attitudes.
Not only that, but men’s mental health plays a huge part in singleness, and it is truly heartbreaking. We all know that male suicide rates are higher than women's, and research suggests this is largely due to the lack of support men receive when dealing with their inner conflicts, emotions, and the stress of daily life.
If this is a man’s world as some claim, more men should be speaking up about male’s mental health, more men should be talking out about domestic abuse towards women; more men should be openly feminists so that equality and respect is present in every romantic relationship. If this were to be the case, then perhaps there would be more opportunity for healthy romantic relationships.