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Advice: Why and How We Should Gift Ourselves with Self-Love. By Chloe-Jo Varey

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Advice: Why and How We Should Gift Ourselves with Self-Love. By Chloe-Jo Varey

Self-esteem is defined as ’confidence in one's own worth or abilities; self-respect.’ And whether it is celebrities, influencers or even your friends, we are constantly told the importance of self-love but we are also constantly exposed to a world that damages our self-esteem by the very same people.

Social media influencers preach about loving yourself but then teach those who consume their content new insecurities, which means there is plenty room for debate about whether social media is good for our wellbeing when, according to a recent survey by Our World In Data, 85 percent of people struggle with low self-esteem. Surely the issue of finding ways to be kind to ourselves has never been more pressing.

Imagine the things you do for those you care about; imagine the little gifts you have bought for friends to make them feel appreciated; imagine all the times you called or texted someone just to make sure they were okay. Now imagine if you did this for yourself, imagine buying yourself flowers just to cheer yourself up or imagine if you stopped throughout your day just to ask yourself how you were really feeling. Why do we not begin to show the appreciation we show others to ourselves?

Start treating yourself the way you would treat someone you cared about. Do you remember all those times someone you cared about did something wrong and you chose to forgive or show empathy to them? Why can you not do that for yourself? If you hold yourself accountable for your past actions and you chose to grow and learn, you do not need to keep punishing yourself the way you would not punish someone you loved. There are going to be times that you are in the wrong and there are going to be times when you seem to be in the wrong in someone else’s life story and that is not an issue, there is nothing wrong with you nor the other person, people can grow and move on from the past and not everyone is meant to be in your life so stop chasing those who do not respect or value you and stop punishing yourself for past actions, surround yourself with those who care for you and apologise and grow from your downfalls.

Sometimes it may feel like the entire world is against you and sometimes it feels like you might feel stuck and miserable forever but it is always possible to work through pain and the first step of that is accepting that you deserve to feel glee. You deserve to feel the joy that you desire, the type of joy that you imagine or the type of joy movies romanticise. You need to accept that you deserve joy to be able to start gifting that joy to yourself. Why do you feel like you do not deserve support? Once you accept that you deserve happiness we then need to understand that we cannot do it alone. Help in the form of therapy, counselling or even talking to a friend does not make you weak and by allowing yourself to receive this help without shame just proves to yourself that you understand your worth and the fact that you are worthy of glee.

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